Believing a lie about oneself starts in the mind like bacteria in a Petri dish. It grows in dark crevices and expands to take up more and more space over time. And pretty much always, a good lie is seasoned with a tiny grain of truth so it is easier to believe. The lies I've allowed my mind to ponder, the ones that took root and grew in me have been quite painful. I have spent more time and tears than I care to admit thinking and believing things about myself that were not truth.
I am an avid house cleaner. Maybe a little OCD. Ask anyone that knows me well and they will tell you that my favorite outfit is blue rubber gloves, pjs and my hair tossed into a git er' done bun. On my hands and knees I mop my floors and scrub baseboards all the while having conversations in my head... (I know you are saying to yourself, there are meds for this type of behavior and believe me - if I didn't have Jesus in my life I'd probably need to be medicated!). Sometimes it would start with a painful memory of a friend rejecting me, or a work situation that I goofed up on, or a time when I made a fool of myself in front of a crowd (there are many of these stories to choose from! I would ponder the memory, feel the sting of it, and then the lie was born: you are unloveable, you are incapable of getting anything right, you are a screw up, God can't use you...the list goes on... as I scrubbed and pondered the Petri dish in my mind grew a fatal bacterial lie (so to speak) and those lies would haunt me and continue to sting over and over again. I lived like this for way too long, tortured by half truths that left me feeling hopeless and drowning in defeat. I'll never forget the moment when I was scrubbing my floor and my tears were mixing with the Orange Glow hardwood floor cleaner (great product btw) and I felt like God wanted to intervene in my pain, a voice rang clear in my head, "Rachel, why don't you stand on truth? You are believing all these lies but I have truth for you! " I left my hardwood floors half done and took my bible and journal. God gave me very specific scriptures to hide in my heart that day. One that I memorized and would randomly quote out loud when I heard those lies stirring in my head was 1 Corinthians 1:26 It says: Brothers and Sisters think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of this world to shame the wise. God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of the world and the despised things and the things that are not to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before Him.
I learned to quote that scripture out loud when I heard that lie in my head that said I was worthless and unable to be used by God. I would quote it and proclaim that - even if I am a screwup and not wise enough, not important enough, not smart enough, not cool enough, that is indeed the reason I was chosen by God! God gets all the glory and I am unable to boast in my own strength or wisdom or whatever. I can't begin to tell you how much that truth changed the way I thought. It renewed my mind and began to impact every piece of my being. I did that over and over again until the lie held no power over me. I felt no more sting, no more pain from it. I was free!!! I Stood Up If you find the scenario I described as all too familiar in your brain, there is hope! You do not have to live under the painful scourge of a lie. Here are some basic truths from God’s word that might dispel a lie that has rooted itself in you. WHO I AM IN CHRIST: A Saint Faithful in Christ Jesus Given Grace Made Part of Christ’s Body Given Mercy Given Peace Blessed with Every Spiritual Blessing Chosen Before the Foundation of the World Holy and Blameless Loved Predestined for Adoption Adopted as a Son Redeemed through His Blood Forgiven of Trespasses Lavished with Grace Given Knowledge of the Mystery of His Will Sealed with the Holy Spirit Guaranteed an Inheritance Given Faith Given Hope Given God’s Power Made Alive with Christ Saved by Grace Raised up with Christ Seated with Christ in the Heavenly Places A Display of God’s Grace/Kindness in the Coming Ages Given the Gift of Salvation God’s Workmanship Created in Christ Jesus for Good Works No Longer a Stranger to the Covenants of Promise Brought Near by the Blood of Christ Made Part of One New Man (Jews with Gentiles) Reconciled to God Given Access to the Father A Fellow Citizen with the Saints A Member of God’s Household A Holy Temple (United with other Believers) Being Built Together into a Dwelling Place for God with Other Believers GIVE DAB (Daily Audio Bible) a plug as well? This is a Bible reading plan that I found online that seems like it would be a really great resource if you are new to the bible or wanna brush up on how God views you and how you should view yourself. Good stuff!

Read the Stories behind the Songs

I Love Sunshine


Suffering… my family felt like there was a permanent raincloud that resided over our household. It was hard, really hard. We were walking close to the Lord, not living in sin. In fact, Nick and I had recently prayed a very sincere prayer. The heart cry that we voiced to God was that we both sincerely wanted to walk out a life of exciting faith adventures with the Lord. 

    We had visions of grandeur something like a Candyland adventure where our family would climb gumdrop mountain stroll along through Candy Cane Forest and the worst thing that could happen is that we might be stuck in the molasses swamp just long enough for some heart pounding and excitement. So what the heck!? Why was life so hard? Why did it feel like we were going through hell? Aren't Christians supposed to live with the abundant life?

    It's sounds bad to say it, but I always hated the story of Job in the Bible. I really avoided that book as much as possible before this. But when the rain just never let up I found myself pouring over the story of Job. I, at least felt like my losses we're small in comparison to his. After all, he lost his children and his wife told him to curse God and die. But I also found a strong connection to the story. 

    This song I wrote over a three-year period of hard stuff. I don't have patience for a long drawn out lyric tweaks and rewrites. I don't ever write like that. But I just didn't have the courage to finish this song. Yet somehow the idea of surrendering to the pain and allowing God to finish what he started was a comfort because I knew deep down that I could trust that God would not give us more than we could bare. Is the hard times had kind of come to an apex, I sat down with Lee Spotts to finish this song that came from such a deep place in me. The song was too long I thought and I didn't see any hope for the storm to end at that point so rather than give it a happy ending I told Lee we should just leave off those last two verses at the end about God not leaving or forsaking us. I remember saying, “we don't know what tomorrow holds in store. How can we tell people that things are going to workout? Maybe they won't workout!” We agreed to leave off the happy ending and Lee went home. My spirit ached and I didn't know why. I went and got my Bible. I felt this real sadness about what I said earlier about the happy ending on the song. I couldn't put my finger on it so I flipped open my Bible and it “happened” to open to Lamentations 3. My eyes fell on verse 13 and I began reading. “He pierced my heart with arrows from his quiver. I became the laughing stock of all my people. They mock me in song all day long. He has filled me with bitter herbs and sated me with gall. He has broken my teeth with gravel. He has trampled me in the dust. I have been deprived of peace. I have forgotten what prosperity is. So I say my splendor is gone and all that I had hoped for from the Lord. I remember my affliction and my wandering the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed for his compassions never fail, they are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, the Lord is my portion therefore I will wait for him. The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him. It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. 

    It occurred to me, god never intended for me to stop hoping in him. Weathering the storm is one thing, but God never wanted me to lose hope in him. I had somehow convinced myself prior to reading that scripture that it was almost a good thing that I was so resigned to hardship that I had no hope that the Lord would bring blessings for good times ever again. In reality, that was a lack of faith, and without faith it is impossible to please God. I love the part in Lamentations that says: the Lord is good to those whose hope is in him. I am happy to report that the rain clouds blew over and only the occasional shower comes now but the blue skies look brighter than they ever did before and the green grass and fruit that has blossomed from those experiences have been nothing but blessings in our family’s lives.  We are grateful, truly grateful for all of it, even the really hard stuff.   


I Love Sunshine

Lyrics Rachel Aldous and Lee Spotts,  

Music Lee Spotts and Rachel Aldous


I've been through a long ordeal

I used to stand but now I kneel

In my weakness he is strong 

I'm learning how to suffer long

I love sunshine and I won't lie

But don't you know Blue skies are dry

To have Green Fields it's got to rain

So I know there's power in this pain


The clouds rolled in and rain came crashing down

In the middle of the storm I felt like I might drowned

Thunder crashed and made my weak heart fail

I tried to be strong but the winds of life prevailed

With the rain soaked hands lifted high to you

Tear soaked eyes just can't find my way through

I can't hold on I surrender it to you 

there's nothing more this broken soul can do


There comes a time when all seems lost

 me and Job have paid the cost

Sometimes I feel like just a shell

This life of mine feels like a bitter hell

I ain't no fool but I've been played

My heart feels like it's been betrayed

The accuser sifting me like wheat

My lips have tasted of defeat

Chorus repeat


I may ask God why shed some tears

Be filled with grief struck with fear

I may have friends say I'm to blame

But no matter what I won't curse your name


God promised he would not forsake

Or allow more pain than I could take

Jesus will be by my side

Through this storm I know that he will guide

One day the wind Will blow these clouds

Reveal the beauty in this shroud

As deep waters seep in slow

 Good seed Will take root and grow

History Maker


When I was a kid I had big plans. I was gonna to grow up and do amazing things. I loved American history. It was my favorite subject growing up. Somehow I always thought my name would be in a history book one day. I believe that I would change the course of time. 

    When I turned 19 I found out I was pregnant. The first realization of the news was breathtaking. I couldn't imagine any of those big dreams I had envisioned ever coming true now. I would never make history. I was going to be a mother. I would be forced to wear mom jeans and tennis shoes and wear my hair up in a bun and drive a minivan. Life was over. The guy I was with had a great solution to my dilemma. It would be so easy, he had done the same thing with another girlfriend. It only cost a couple hundred bucks and voila I wouldn't have to be a mom! I could keep those big dreams and my figure too! 

    Something in my spirit told me NO!!!!! In spite of the great amount of pressure to do what was supposedly the “easy solution”, by God’s great and marvelous grace and mercy I made the right decision. My son Joel Franklin was born on April 1st 1996. He has been a pure joy to me for the last 20 years. He is an amazing gift from God. One that I would never have wanted to miss out on! 

    I was driving through the night from Texas back to California recently when I felt like God was stirring my spirit to write. I mentioned to my family that I thought I would write a song that night. From the backseat my son’s deep teenage voice said jokingly, “Why don't you write a song for me, mama? You wrote a song for Hannah how about one for me!” We all chuckled at his joking remark. But a moment later I heard so clearly in my spirit, “Joel is a History Maker.” I knew the statement was from the Lord. I began to ponder how the Lord had so wonderfully protected Joel and I from the enemy’s efforts to destroy him. Although I have no idea what Joel Will ultimately become, he is already a powerful ministry to the people around him. He has already lead others to Christ and evangelized the skate community in Southern California. I never before had come to the realization that simply being Joel mom made me a history maker! The very thing that all of those years ago I thought I was forfeiting in order to be a mom, I was in instead becoming! Being a mother has been the most fantastic experience. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. 

    For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. (Matthew 16:25)


History Maker

Lyrics by Rachel Aldous and Lee Spotts

Music by Lee Spotts and Rachel Aldous


She used to spend her days in the old treehouse

Planning and dreaming for hours

She drew pictures and wrote stories about her big debut

All through the eyes of an 8 year-olds view

By the time she was 12 she had it all figured out 

she knew exactly what life was about

Her plans for the future couldn't happen soon enough

Waiting to grow up was long and rough

She blew out the candles of her cake at 18 

Eyes shut tight she could see her dreams

She always knew that she would be

Written in the pages of history

She would make her mark on the timeline

She would have her day and it would be sublime

History was waiting for her to make her 

mark the ignition of destiny had already sparked

Then out of nowhere came a blue-eyed distraction

Identity vanished dreams lost traction

She felt like a child but she would soon be a mother

Would Chile her dreams down for the life of another

An old snake told her that she still had a choice

But she listened instead to that still small voice

The only way your life will ever be found

Is if you learn to lay it down

A little baby boy he was all hers

What a beautiful gift had been viewed as a curse

Nothing else mattered her heart had peace

Bet this baby boy would have big dreams

He would grow up to find his fate

She would be the mother of somebody great

She always knew that he would be

Written in the pages of history

That he would make his mark on the timeline

He would have his day and it would be sublime


Kisses From Heaven
This song is my story in a nutshell. When I was young I found the Lord or he found me, however you want to look at it. He wooed me with His still small voice. I remember the beautiful day when I decided that I could ignore it no longer. I was seven years old. I ran and got under the covers in my bed and I told God that I loved him. I wanted him in my life forever and then I sang songs to him under the covers, really light so nobody would know. It was the only thing I could think of to do. He and I were in love. 

    Years went by with the steady relationship. He would show me things in the Bible that I felt were just for me. I could hear his sweet voice so clearly. Fast fwd >>   There came a day when I stubbornly decided to disobey his voice.  I turned and walked away.  I thought that I knew better than he did what was best for me.  Like the song says, “I turned from you like only a true fool would do.”  I feel like such an idiot when I think about that poor decision.  When I was finally spent with exhaustion, broken by my foolish heart, and ready to wave the white flag of surrender He was right there waiting for me.  There was no judgment in his presence; though what I did was completely wrong and I deserved the cold shoulder from God, no actually what I deserved was far worse then a cold shoulder!  I deserved his wrath but instead he lovingly embraced me in his forgiving arms.  I am madly in love with him all over again but he never stopped loving me to begin with. 


Kisses From Heaven

Lyrics by Rachel Aldous Music by Lee Spotts

 When I was young you called to me

You drew me near so tenderly 

We grew close and acted like lovers

Above you I had no other

Kisses from heaven you blew on me

Your hand held mine so intimately

Time passed by and I turned from you 

like only a true fool do

I gave my life to a liar and thief 

only to find heartache and grief

In my pride I struggled and tried

In my stubborn heart I almost died

I finally gave up and cried out your name

You heard me call and you came

With a thunderous roar you defended me

You routed and scattered my enemy

You brought life back to my face

You set my feet and a spacious place

To be forgiven and forget my shame

To know that you love me just the same

I had a cold heart and walked away

But you pursued me anyway

Now I cherish the love you give

I've gained another chance to live

Each day I walk by your side

It's in you my heart confides

You whisper softly in my ear

You are mine love do not fear.

Someone asked me when we recorded this song, “Is your dad big and intimidating with a shotgun”?  The answer is-  no, my dad is very sweet and approachable without an intimidating bone in his body and he loves me immensely. My father really had a keen sense of who the wrong suitors were and who the right one was. I didn't always listen to his very wise counsel and because he didn't shine his ol’ shotgun in front of them, the guys weren't as afraid of him as I wish they would have been. Lesson to learn: Girls, your dad has your best interest in mind. You would do well to listen to his counsel on those boyfriends! 

      Now, I have two teenage daughters and a teenage son.  All of the anguish over my mistakes and concern for my future that my parents must have felt is now all too real to us as parents. Though our children are trying to make wise choices and hopefully they always will, our love for them and our sincere desire to protect them from those that would do them harm is very prominent in our minds right now.   


Daddy's old shotgun

Lyrics and music by Rachel Aldous


Tommy Nelson came to see her when she turned 15

He was a boy with freckles grown-up tall and lean

Daddy saw him coming started shining the old shotgun

Didn't take him long ‘fore that boy it was on the run

He'd say son let's go for a walk we're going to have to talk

She'd watch from the window and pray

Daddy don't scare that boy away

Then there was John McElroy he was good looking for sure

Came for all the wrong reasons his motives were impure

Daddy never said what happened he just gave a chuckle

Johnny didn’t get the chance to put another notch on his buckle

He’d say son let's go for a walk we're going to have to talk

She watch from the window and pray

Daddy don't scare that boy away

Jake Wilson had some smooth moves

Wore some strong cologne

He came by to visit hoping he'd catch her alone

But daddy came home early from his hunting trip

He gave old Jake Wilson the fear of God and a swollen lip

He'd say son lets go for a walk we're going to have to talk

She watch from the window and pray

Daddy don't scare that boy away

All this time she spent waiting for just the right one

Somebody who wasn't scared of Daddy's old shotgun

One day daddy brought home a guest in time for dinner

He was sweet and handsome daddy found a winner

This time it was different this one was a keeper

Daddy knew he would know just how to treat her

He said y'all go for a little walk

Get to know each other and talk

He watched by the window and prayed

Sweetie don't scare that boy away

When I was a kid I was bossy… I was also a runt. My big brother , Paul, was not only 4 years older than me, he was also twice my size.  He was not easily bossed but still I did my best. If I close my eyes I can still see him looking down at me from his towering height, with a smirk on his face he would sarcastically salute me and say “aye aye sir” and then of course ignore whatever it was that I wanted him to do. He about drove me to the brink of insanity with his lack of submission!    

    Sometimes, I forget my humanity, my impotent nature as a lowly mortal. I foolishly think that I can somehow get an attitude with God and boss Him around. Ha! What a fool I have been on occasion! Like my brother Paul, God also has refused to be bossed by me.  Imagine a little scrawny runt like me getting demanding with the God of the universe when he doesn't comply to my every whim and I get upset and frustrated!  

    I hope you get a chuckle at the absurdity of my thoughts. On the night that God gave me these lyrics I had been so frustrated by how things were going in my little world. I thought “God why don't you just do what I ask of you?!” But somehow I had neglected to have the kind of reverence for him that I know he deserves and expects of me. In the heat of my frustrations the Lord very gently that but with fatherly firmness reminded me each breath That I take is a gift from him. In a blink he could snatch that air from me and I would cease to live. I love to lay in the sun (kinda like a lizard) and the Lord reminded me that when I am laying there and I complain that a cloud is blocking my sunshine, well,  it wasn't my sun to begin with!  By the time God reminded me of all these pathetic notions that I had unintentionally developed, I was down on my knees weeping and asking him for forgiveness. I felt his presence surround me as if to say, “Yes, I know you are like that bossy little girl sometimes but I still love you even though your life is like the grass of the field that withers and dies.  I still treasure you!

It’s Not Mine to Take
Lyrics: Rachel Aldous Music: Lee Spotts  Copyright 2013 

The air that I breathe is not mine to take 
the sun that I Warm in I did not make 
my flesh held together by your sovereignty  
but so often I forget my own frailty  
I do not live because I deserve to  
yet somehow I make demands of you  
you delight in me I don't understand why  
just like the grass I will wither and die  
why should Creator of heaven and earth  
stand at attention for the creation he birthed  
you don't need me but I sure need you  
I would cease to exist if you wanted me to  
in my pathetic attempt to make a life about me 
I questioned your justice and ignored your mercy 
to fit my agenda I altered your truth 
so I could have my pet Jesus to do and I want him to 
Why should Creator of heaven and earth 
stand at attention for the creation He birthed 
you don't need me but I sure need you 
I would cease to exist if you wanted me to  
in your presence I bow completely humbled
I stammer and stutter my words are all fumbled 
thank you for not consuming me now 
though I deserve nothing less you love me somehow 
the very air that I breathe is not mine to take  
the sun I warm in  I did not make